


To Forget

by Prettybadger



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-20 04:07:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20221525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prettybadger/pseuds/Prettybadger
Summary: Gabriel just wants to forget who that demon is. He doesn't even want to remember the time before the Fall.





	To Forget

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfic I've ever written, so I'll happily take criticism!

The Fall of your brothers and sisters, the ones you Loved the most, wasn’t something you forgot. Gabriel had tried. He really had. So many got to forget that the demons that they fought had once been their brothers and sisters. He remembered the day it had quite clearly and he hated. 

He had been talking to some low-level angel about something he didn’t truly care about. Raphael had asked that he met him soon, so he was trying to hurry the conversation along. He’d rather listen to his brothers' questions then this angel. 

Then the yelling started. Angels were Falling, some trying desperately to grab another angel, some were shocked into silence as they Fell. He glanced around quickly as he looked for Raphael. He saw him and ran has fast as he could. His wings were already turning a slight black. It was then he noticed that his brother had been with that Principality Aziraphale. Gabriel watched in horror as his brother, one of the few he truly Loved, Fell. 

He dropped to his knees where Raphael had disappeared and looked to the Principality. It was odd, he realized, that only Raphael had Fallen. Why hadn’t the Principality Fallen to? The two had been together constantly since Aziraphale had been Created. Besides Gabriel and Lucifer, Raphael hadn’t spent much time with other angels. It had seemed that Aziraphale had been the exception. 

There was still screaming as others Fell. As their wings turned black. Looking up Gabriel felt something he had never felt take over his whole body as Lucifer's great white wings were turning balck. No, he wanted to scream. Not both of them, he wanted to demand. 

He had lost two of the angels he Loved the most that day. 

It wasn’t long after that that Mother, or God, had him come to her and told him to wipe the Fallen from the memories of those who were still here. It was the second time in such a short span of time he wanted to defy God. However, he didn’t. He did what she told him to do without complaint. 

Gabriel, she had whispered, I know you miss them. Don’t let it get in the way of your job. 

Just like every other time she had “talked” to him he felt drained. He wanted nothing more than Lucifer's warmth as he put himself back together. He wanted Raphael’s comforting smile and words. 

He had wiped those in Heaven memories of the Fallen, except the other Archangels. Why they got to keep the memories, he didn’t know. He didn’t want to take the chance of Falling. 

It wasn’t until the Principality Aziraphale had made his first report did he wonder just who of the Fallen Raphael had become. The description matched slightly with some demon named Crawly. Red hair, yellow eyes, tall, and pale. Without a second thought he had gone down to Earth and upon seeing the demon from afar anger had swallowed him. It was him. It was Raphael. But he knew, oh he knew, that he ever tried to talked to Crawly he wouldn’t be welcomed. It could quite possibly end up with one discorporate. He flew back to Heaven after that. Resentment for the Principality Azirphale was thick in him. He knew that they would most likely go back forth for years before they truly fought. If the Principality hurt his brother Gabriel wouldn’t be forgiven for what he would do. 

As the years went on Gabriel kept a close eye on Azirphale and the demon Crawly, well Crowely now. He watched as Azirphale and Crowley came to an agreement and his resentment for Azirphale worsened. How dare this Principality be able to be around his brother when Gabriel couldn’t be there himself? 

He had never gotten truly close to Raphael, err, Crowely until he took his century long nap. To this day Gabriel wasn’t sure why he went down to Earth and looked for him. When he found Crowley, he had let himself in and followed the trail of power to his bedroom. Upon finding him Gabriel wanted to something very unangel like. He wanted to weep. He left as quickly as possible. 

More year's past and more reports of Crowley came in from Aziraphale the more he resented the Principality. He knew that Aziraphale wouldn’t properly care about the time the two spent together. He knew that Azirphale didn’t remember Raphael. And it Hurt. He realized he finally understood what Lucifer and Raphael had been talking about in the beginning. It Hurt knowing that the only time he would ever see his brothers again would be on a battlefield. 

Sandalphon and Gabriel had gone down to check on Aziraphale when he felt the power that distinctly was Raphael. He wondered how Sandalphon didn’t feel it. Perhaps it was because Sandalphon hadn’t been as close to Raphael. He watched as a look of fear passed over Aziraphale’s face and he almost turned around. Sandalphon almost turned around as well but he stopped him and continued to ask completely pointless questions about how many miracles Aziraphale had been using. He felt Crowley leave and then he took Sandalphon and left. He could practically taste his resentment and anger for Azirpahale now. 

The next time he saw Crowley was completely by accident. Aziraphale had to deal with some other miracle so Gabriel had come down to deal with this one. It was quite shocking, in all honest, to be walking in a direction and then be in a completely somewhere else and walking into a wall. He spun around and saw Crowley? What in the Hell? The demon raised his eyebrows over his glasses. 

“You know, I never thought an Archangel would reek of sin.” Crowley drawled from his side of the alley. Reek of sin? Gabriel thought quickly of what he could’ve.... his hatred for Azirphale. 

“I haven’t a clue what you're talking about demon!” He snapped quickly. It was a sin wasn’t it. His resentment and anger and, oh Satan, his envy of Aziraphale. 

“Oh, calm down. I’ve just got one question for you and then we can go about this whole fighting business.” Crowley hissed. “Why can’t Aziraphale remember anything from before?” 

“From before the Fall? The only ones who remember anything are the Archangels. Every other angel’s memory was wiped.” A look crossed Crowley’s face. Admittedly, Gabriel couldn’t see much of it because of the glasses. 

“Why? What was the point?” Gabriel felt anger surge through him and he couldn’t stop the words that spilled out of his mouth. 

“Unlike you, I knew better than to ask questions and I actually listened to the Almighty, Raphael!” There was only one word to describe the look on Crowley’s face: anger. 

“My name is Crowley. I haven’t gone by that, that name in sssix thousand yearsss.” He seemed to both snap and hiss. “Don’t ever ussse that name again. Raphael is gone.” Then Crowley was gone. Raphael was gone, and Gabriel knew that but he didn’t want to accept it. He didn’t want Raphael to be gone. He wanted his brother back. 

The finally time he had seen Crowley had been at Tadfield Airbase. Just as the Antichrist stopped the apocalypse. Yet again he had been with Aziraphale and yet again resentment swallowed Gabriel as he and Beelzebub walked towards the group. He tried to not look at Crowely but he couldn’t help himself. The last thing he had said to him echoed in his head. Raphael is gone. Was he really? No demon worth their Fall would stop the apocalypse. Maybe there was still a bit left in the demon. Maybe Raphael was clawing himself back up to the surface. 

He just wanted to forget that the demon before him was his brother. He wanted to forgot that he watched his brother, one of the few he truly Love, Fall. 

When “Aziraphale” had been brought up he had known. He knew that power, that feeling anywhere but he didn’t say anything. He still released his hatred, resentment and envy of Aziraphale on him. Shut up and die already. He really wanted to say please stay. Don’t leave again. He didn’t. He snarled at his brother and hoped maybe that all would be forgiven. 

He wept later in private. He had yet again lost his brother. However, this time there was nothing to bring his brother back. He just wanted to forget.


End file.
